Just a little reflexion getting the 25...

 Well, I have never written before in English in my blog, but today I had the feeling of writing about how I am feeling on the previous days to my birthday, and why not do it in English. ( I am happy for any comment or correction, no laughs thanks ;) )There I go... 

The twenty-five, the quarter century, scary isn´t it? It is the beginning of the way to the thirties what is quite worrying for me as I feel the time pass so quick and I want to do many things before that. And then I think, before what?  Well before I am established somewhere, even with someone perhaps… And then I keep asking myself, is it wrong if I get that? Also I think or I have to believe that I will never be established anywhere. Yes, I could stay with someone, but I do not feel to be part from any place. What I am feeling now with my experience in my life is that I belong to the world, and wherever I will go I will feel like at home if I have people who love me around me.

Getting this age in a few days, I look back to all my steps which have led me here...and I have to smile. Those days when I went to the school, oh! those days of happiness without any responsibility, I had just to do my homework and then I was free to play in the park with my friends. I remember my parents saying to me oh, you will miss this Sandra, and I complained because they were free every evening without homework.. And now I realize how easy were those days and how difficult are these days sometimes when you have to fight for yourself.
The high school was a little bit harder but still enjoyable, the jump to the reality was the starting in the university. You, in your own, and no one else to lead you as your teacher in the high school. That feeling of being a small person in a really big world. But I got to survive in that jungle, the goal during all my life was to get a degree and when I got it...what shall I do now? that was my great goal in my life! what I am going to do now? 

Well I have always been  a dreamer, but the recession in Spain also helped me to come where I am now. It was a dream for a few months in my life, yeeah lets go abroad to live the life and see what else is over there. But after a few months I realized the dream came really true, and nowadays I am know there is not possibility for me to go back “home”. It has been hard to get used to the idea that I have to be here, or well anywhere far from my country. I miss Spain, I miss Madrid, I miss the Spanish food, I miss my family and of course I miss my friends. I know my family will be there for ever, even my country will be there(in recession or not) but what I can not change is the relationship with my friends. When you go abroad, at the beginning everything is fine when you go back home for visiting, you have parties to give you a welcome back! You have dinners with many friends, coffees and chats, but when the time pass, some people forget you, you are the one who left them so now you have to assume the impact. This is one of the most sad feelings I have. I know people carry on with their lifes, but I wish I could have the same great time I used to have with my friends when I go back home now. Well I need to be happy at least to see someone, and wait for the planets to be in line (completely a Spanish expression) to get a time with all my friends together. But is still sad, thinking I am going to be 25, what is a really important date for me in my life and I go back home for it and I have got my diary still blank, no even a day for a coffee, yes you all know me, I would really like a big party, but I am getting older so I think I will be happy with a dinner or a coffee with some friends.

Anyway this is the reality, and someone told me once that we are on our own in this world and we have to assume it, people are there for a few time in your life, and then they go away. That was a good advice, but still hard to assume as I love people and as I love my friends.  I am scare of being alone in this madness of world where I do not want to be alone at all.

My promise to my twenty-five is to keep being myself and to keep exploring the world, enjoying the people who pass around me even if it is for a short time.

                                                          I will never stop myself...